haiz.. jus came hm frm driving... sucks! i duno y but i kept making mistakes.. how am i gg to pass my tp like tis.. i shld stop driving auto car alrdy.. i hate tat pair of shoes.. it brings mi memories, yet i cant feel the biting point when holding the clutch.. instructor kept talking n talking.. n the topic he talked abt jus made me think n think.. i cant focus.. fuck..
我以为我已经放下了.. 每当听到你的名字 每当想起你, 心仍有一道伤口, 隐隐作痛
10:50 PM
all alone under the stars.; ;
6:34 PM
all alone under the stars.; ;
Sunday, September 27, 2009
been playing mahjong for 3 days.. procrastinating.. no studying for gp.. seh lor.. haiz.. dun really feel like gg for the paper.. but i wan to change course! i dun wan go mech engineering in ntu!!! freaked out when i looked at sq's notes.. gone case physics n math.. but if i wan to change course, i gt to go for gp n must get a better grade.. arghhhh..
really tired.. tired.. tired.. tired..
i wish i can take a break from life.. apply leave or smth.. get a passport to go to another world for an excursion or wad.. and come back realizing everything has changed..
My first day at mindef.. totally different life frm any army camps.. i realised for mi im nt consider booking in, but instead reporting for work.. when i reached the place, the whole mindef building is so highly secured with all the mps around.. no more familiar faces when i reached, no one i know walking in with mi anymore.. i miss my bmt brothers n friends, my alpha brothers and all the sgts n sirs..
things here work in a less physical way.. i dun hav to put on my head dress anywhere i go n i wont be wearing no.4 soon, after my no.3 is rdy for collection.. im allowed to use hp as n when i like, bring mp3 n psp to camp without getting a LOA.. no more cook house here, oni canteen, but bad thing is i hav to pay for every meal.. overall.. mindef life is less intense as compared to sce life, mainly cos it's less regimental.. i dun hav to worry abt who is gg to shout alpha, alpha n demanding a response frm u or who's gg to shout knock it down u fucking cb duno how to reply right.. jus like wad harris said, it seems like u r unlocking all the privileges in a split second.. i see a large pool of officers around, n there are nt jus 2LT or LT.. instead.. in g5 office, the lowest officer rank i seen so far is a cpt.. an officer wif the rank of a major is so freaking common.. i see crabs here n there.. but i didnt salute any, nor greet anyone of them wahahaha... pte dominates!
perhaps first day at mindef is relatively okay, but who noes wad's gonna happen tmr, or after i been given an appointment.. i hope my life wont be like doing all kinds of work n rushing against time like most office clerks out there.. i noe it's gonna be mundane, but i hope to enjoy the rest of my service term peacefully, without having to sign any extras or whatsoever..
till then.
6:50 PM
all alone under the stars.; ;
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
i wan watch movie!! cant believe i gt 6days off but i didnt even watch a single movie! damn.. sian.. i cant find a suitable date for driving test!!!!
haiz haiz haiz...
第一次是偶然 第二次是必然 第三次试命中注定
1:40 AM
all alone under the stars.; ;
Sunday, September 13, 2009
i feel like a loser.. i been hoping n praying tt i will get posted out of jurong camp 30sce ever since the first day i got into tis camp. now i got it.. ive posted out.. will be gg to mindef g5 tis thurs.. most likely is a 8 to 5 clerk.. but nw i dun feel like leaving.. 8 to 5 vocation means a lot to me in the past but nt to me nw.. having gone thru all the shits wif alpha platoon 3, it's sad tt im leaving tis bunch of brothers nw.. first day i stepped into the camp, the buildings like old deserted and haunted factories with lots of drains which will cause severe mosquito breeding.. the people i see there are like cui! n mi n kahkian were like cursing y we r posted here.. in this 3 months, i realized tt all these cui people actually are very very nice ppl.. they each hav a character n style of their own and came frm different backgrounds.. but been thru all the tekanings, all the trainings, all the pts, all the area cleaning sessions, bonds are formed.. this bonds are special.. i nv tot tt jc ppl can mingle well wif poly dropped out or smokers who looked like some uncivilised social scums.. but nw these bonds are even stronger than C=C double bond..
alright, im leaving.. hope that u guys will progress well.. as a combat engineer with a strong n healthy body.. n oso blessed that i will meet nice n helpful ppl at mindef! i'll miss u guys! n i miss u nw.
i finally continued my driving lesson again.. uncle lim allowed me to go n take test date le!! im gg for TP!!! im determined to get my license within tis yr! argh!!!
uncle lim really noes fortune telling? n jus by looking at my palm? if he's true, tis is bad.. how can i change my fate?
finally booked in on wed night.. i cant slp in camp.. too used to my own bed at home after att c at home for 4days.. went to physiotherapy alone on thurs morning :( thurs was a bad day becos i dun feel good tt day.. rather emo :( today was fun being an OO :) quite a lot of things to do to kill time.. helped a lot of sgts to run some errands n to handle some documents.. gt the sense of accomplishment when the sgts and sirs said thankyou for your help! =D
what can i do to change, if the thing i wanna change is my life?